7/5/2005

Recently these past few months, it seems that my lower abdomen has grown bigger and bigger, and my pants have become tighter and tighter, although there is no significant change in my weight. I thought maybe this was because of not enough exercise, and I just sometimes yelled to the sky, “Finally, I have to face the destiny of mid-age belly fat!”, then got back to family/business work, with no time to feel sorrow or anything.

When I laid on the bed last night, my husband David accidentally touched my belly and said, surprised, “How come your belly has a big mass bulging out?”

I touched the spot, and I was really shocked: My lower abdomen on the left side area had a big ball bulging out, like a 6 month pregnancy. Then I touched the right side of my abdomen; it seemed normal there.

I crawled out from the bed, and looked at myself in the mirror – the spot wasn’t very obvious, only when I touched it; I could feel a big round spot which is much harder than right side. But when I laid down again, the spot stood out like a hill. Being a full time wife/mom with a full time job and my own Chinese writing career, I usually go to bed late, and fall asleep right away. I don’t have insomnia problems, and I have never had time to touch my belly/abdomen as an amusement (grin), Oh well, so when the heck did this begin? I tried to recall anything, but no impressions at all.

“Does it hurt?” David patted my belly ball lightly. He looked worried.

“Nope, I don’t feel anything at all.” I replied. This was the truth; I would never feel its existence if it didn’t bulge out that much.

“Any abnormal feeling recently? Do you feel tired easily, or any other uncomfortable situations?”

“No.” I looked at him, smiled, “I am energetic everyday like a jumping shrimp. I eat a lot with great appetite.”

“Don’t’ forget to call the family doctor tomorrow to make an appointment.”

I nodded, and tried to please him, “Hey, I have constipation problems, you know. So take it easy. It might be just gas or something.”

”Hum.” He mumbled, and lay down. I turned around then closed my eyes, but could not fall asleep after a long time. “It should be okay, “I persuaded myself, “I am still young and healthy; I seldom get sick; I don’t even catch colds often. It can’t be any big problem….”

In darkness, we each tossed and turned in bed; we didn’t continue talking….

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